in retrospect

i woke up this morning and realised i was shitscared. literally. and it reminded me of how i was equallyscared back when i was in secondary school and i had to play singles against van during pilot pen and i had diarrhoea in the morning just before i had to leave my house for the match. (see van, you have that effect on me. that's why i love partnering you ;) so i dont get scared by you, we scare our opponents instead) but anyhow, that's the way i am, when i get terribly nervous, my bowels react. eww i know. hehe.

but its weird cuz im not scared of the pain. dont know what i was afraid of.

anyhows, i cant move my mouth and i cant feel half of my tongue and i cant feel half of my lips. i feel semiparalysed. but it's quite fun poking my lips with my fingers, it's like i can feel it, yet i cant. interesting.