in retrospect

today i saw a "do not attempt to resuscitate" form being signed. he didnt want to get his feet amputated despite knowing the complications of gangrene. he said if he was going to die, he was going to die. he is 94. and his wife and his son are no longer around. i almost cried when he said he didnt have anything left to live for :(

if you don't know what gangrene is, this is it.



in fact his feet looked like they were in a worse condition.
not a pretty sight really.

and Parkinson's disease. i never want to get Parkinson's. *touchwood*

well, elderly ward isnt all that depressing really. i mean most of them have quite bad illnesses and poor prognosis. but you do meet really cheery and optimistic elderly patients who just make you feel good and happy you can do your bit to help them. this man had a million problems but as i was taking his history and chatting with him, he told me "it's just part of life, you grow old" and it made me think, how lucky it would be if i could grow old and not have any health problems. but im glad he thought of it that way. he said, it doesnt matter what problems he has, as long as he wakes up everyday and say "it's going to be a great day". at least he is happy.

you know, i guess that's what is important. life may throw all sorts of challenges and rubbish at you, and life will always seem unfair, yet somehow you can still see the lighter side of life and still manage to be happy and be thankful for the good things life can bring/has brought you.

it's been quite a long day. 9 hours on my feet at the hospital. but i've learnt so much, not just medically, but spiritually as well. and i've again been reminded of the sort of person and doctor i want to be.